Asking Mr. Tough Guy For Directions

ME:"Excuse me sir, but my friend and I seem to be lost. Can you tell me how to get to Calcutta?"



MR. TOUGH GUY:"Sure, no problem, it's really not that far at all. Just go that way (in the direction I'm pointing) about 5 kilometers, and hang a right, go about 1 kilometer, and there's a bridge that crosses the river there that will take you right to downtown."

ME:"OK, great, thanks for your help. By the way, can you help me and my friend settle a bet? What is the fastest land mammal? I say it's the leopard, but my friend here insists it's the cheetah. What say you?



MR. TOUGH GUY:"Are you messin' with me, son? I suggest you and your friend get the hell out of here before I do something rash. Don't make me haul you out of that car!"