Thursday, June 30, 2011

Man...What A Long Day


The boy patted the elephant's back and thanked her for a long day of work spent shuttling tourists around to see the sights of Jaipur. This pleased the elephant, who found the day-to-day work enjoyable but was still heavily fatigued after carrying the weight equivalent of a Boeing 747 on her back in the sweltering Indian summer heat. The elephant wanted nothing more than to immerse herself in the cool, muddy lake and relax as the sun sank slowly beneath the hills surrounding the ancient city.

It was a routine the elephant repeated daily for many years. It sounds like monotony, but there were breaks that made it all worthwhile. New and interesting opportunities arose for the elephant from time to time -- like being in a wedding. The elephant loved being dressed up in Indian wedding regalia and serving as the official transportation for bride and groom. When dressed to the nines, with all the colorful accoutrements that accompany the stunning spectacle of an Indian wedding, the elephant felt like kind of a badass, actually.

What was really interesting to the elephant was how people didn't regard her as a servant or beast of burden, but as an actual wedding guest to be honored and cherished like the other guests. This, too, pleased the elephant, because she always had a keen awareness of the life-changing significance these ceremonies held.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

I'm Seriously Getting Too Old For This

Man, that truck missed me by a very uncomfortably close margin. That's like the fifth time I've almost been mowed down today. I know I keep complaining about my damn job, but I'm getting too old for this. And because I've always had this desire to, you know, actually GET older, I'm going to have to finally quit once and for all.

Of course, there's the issue of what I'll do next. I've always wanted to sell ice cream. The money sucks, and the margins are razor thin, but hey, at least I'd be bringing happiness to people. Frozen happiness that slowly melts away and then is gone, with a finality like a door slamming shut. No, forget that, I don't want that job.

What about working at a movie theater? I'd get to see free movies. And I'd be bringing happiness to people there, too. Oh wait. What about the crowds on opening night? And that popcorn, with the disgusting imitation butter? I'd probably gain a ton of weight from chowing down all the time on junk food. Forget that job too.

Ah well. I do this every week it seems. This job sucks, but at least I'm outside, on the streets, feeling the vitality of the city, along with its fumes, of course. But it could be worse. So I guess I'll stick around in this street sweeping job for a while.