Sunday, July 31, 2011

I Am So Foreboding, I Actually Scare Myself


What's up? I'm an insanely scenic stretch of terrain in the Connemara region of western Ireland. I have been blowing people's minds with my craggy features for millennia. And on this day, I'm in especially rare form, as is obvious. The way the fog is pressing down on my mountain peaks and shutting off the sunlight really adds a sense of foreboding, and frankly, I'm enjoying the hell out of it.

But lest you think I'm some sort of psychopath, let me assure you that I don't get off on scaring people or anything like that. It's just a curious thrill. No one knows what lies down this road, and around its many bends, which are hidden from view in this scene. One might assume, just based on how ridiculously ominous I look, that to travel down this road would be a fool's errand, like break-dancing next to a pile of live cobras. Go ahead and think that.

Of course, I could be bluffing. There could be a damn amusement park down that road, or an ice cream parlor with golden retrievers playing outside, and overexcited children shrieking and demanding confectionery treats. And you'd never know it because I'm looking so terrifying and dramatic. Anyway, it's your choice -- travel down this road, if you dare.

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