Monday, April 21, 2008

I Am So Not Giving You A Ride


Oh, look, it's a tourist! Wow, you came all the way up here in the mountains -- must have been a bumpy trip. I hear those Land Rover seats are a real pain in the ass, no pun intended.

Wait, what's that? You've always wanted to ride a camel? Well, forget about it pal. Too bad.

First of all, I'm on break. Second, I don't give rides to tourists -- it's in my contract. Just ask my handler. He's the guy selling bags of pine cones, which happen to be my favorite food.

I'm not in the mood to go traipsing around the dunes with some brain dead idiot on my back taking photos, so he can show all his friends back home how cool Jammu & Kashmir was, and how he rode a camel.

Go ahead and buy me a bag of pine cones though -- I'll eat 'em right up. However, just be aware that your gesture will in no way help convince me to give you a ride. I might spit on you though -- hey, that'd be something to tell the guys about, wouldn't it?

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